Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is wine microwaveable?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
