But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Farmville is her only friend.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
