you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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