a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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