I could have mohawked her pubes.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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