whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
