you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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