Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
