It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
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The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
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I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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