I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
