You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
