after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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