I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My vagina is officially offended.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize