If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
