Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
