i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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