I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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