Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
