How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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