Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
