i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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