Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
