you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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