why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She said her name was "party"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
