Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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