he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
