Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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