Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
As shirtless as possible
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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