I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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