Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
