remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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