I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
