She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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