did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
