im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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