I faked an abortion last night.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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