I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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