Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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