the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
