Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
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HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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