I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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