Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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