How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
