he puts the penis in happiness.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
