I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
