hotel room ftw
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize