I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
its not stalking. its research.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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