An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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