Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
