So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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