that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
