Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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