Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
