Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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