shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
why do cheetos always look like penises
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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