Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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