Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
