dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
