ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
