you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
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the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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