brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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