So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
