So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
