Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
