Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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