I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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